90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
