is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize