I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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