so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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