I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
