Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
