Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We have started to decorate penises.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
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