i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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