I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
