I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
