Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Enjoy the penises
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
