question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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