Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
