brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
