the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You have to summon your inner elephant
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
