You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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