I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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