Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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