You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
