bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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