there's paper in my vomit.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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