I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
