I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
