I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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