I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
