He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
