I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I didn't shave. On purpose
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
