He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
