He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
