What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
