do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
