Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
