I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I bet he comes in French.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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