i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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