I am in a vortex of obligation.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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