I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
