Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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