'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
