its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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