I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
