all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
