did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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