Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
