somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
