i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
