An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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