Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
