new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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