Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel great
I just peed on a car
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
