Kiss
Puke
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
