I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
