I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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