OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize