Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
