so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
