were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
