am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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