Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
