we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
