I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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