apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
