did you get engaged???
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
