So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
