Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
