Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The air taste purple.
Randomize
