Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
