apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Barsexuality is the new black.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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