I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
