Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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