Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
