I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When did angry sex become our thing?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
